Keep On

You never know what’s around the corner. It could be everything. Or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you’ve climbed a mountain.

Tom Hiddleston

 

Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed.

Paulo Coelho

 

A year from now you may wish you had started today.

Karen Lamb

 

green point park 052

 

I returned just over a week ago from a short holiday with family in Johannesburg. It was a good time of playing games, talking and enjoying time with my niece, and although I had intentions of getting lots of work done, it was hard to find concentrated time for anything (except for one blog post and keeping up with mails). I came home ready to return to the rhythm of writing that I’d started to cultivate in the weeks before I left.

I woke up on Monday to a crippling sense of resistance and anxiety about all the things I wanted to do. Added to that was the fact that my day was packed with outings and other resposibilities. No writing would get done. I pushed through the week, having made schedules and goals for each day. By the end of the week I had accomplished more than I would have thought possible. But the resistance and anxiety persisted and I had to work hard to persevere through to the other side of it and get to the joy and satisfaction of achieving what I’d set out to do. There were a number of tasks that scared me. It took every ounce of determination to keep going. (There were moments when I contemplated going to bed and not getting up for anything, except maybe an offer of a holiday in Mauritius…)

I have often wondered why it continues to be so challenging to knuckle down to doing what needs to be done. I enjoy being busy; I like having things to do. I thought that all of this would get easier. I suppose in some ways it has. But it still so often feels like I have to wade through mud  just to reach the starting line.

This morning I woke up feeling sick. My throat was sore, my nose was running and I was tired from a night with little sleep. ‘Great!’ I thought. ‘I’m sick. I can stay in bed and not do any work. That newsletter I’ve been trying to put together (since forever) can wait.’ But a little voice countered that. After a hot shower and a warm breakfast I felt much better. And here I am, at my laptop, getting the next thing done and building momentum for the rest of the week. I’m so glad I did.

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